Not Having It All

A laughout-loud comedy which will appeal to fans of books like Sophie Ranald’s Sorry Not Sorry as well as readers of authors like Marian Keyes, Jojo Moyes and Mhairi McFarlane.

the cover

Neuroscientist Bea Hudson fears she is a bad mother and that her career will be thwarted by family life. When her husband suspects Bea of having an affair with her best friend, a chain of events is triggered, leading to a crisis in Bea’s life.

Bea Hudson, a neuropsychologist living in Godalming, is struggling to cope with the challenging behaviour of her obsessive husband Kurt and their disruptive four-year-old daughter Fran. On top of this, her boss is pressuring her to get results from her research. 

Things come to a head when Kurt goes away on an extended business assignment. While sacking staff and drinking heavily, Kurt’s insecurities run amok and he becomes convinced that Bea’s close friend Madeleine is seducing his wife and unduly influencing his daughter.

Meanwhile, childless artist Madeleine sees her friend torn between the demands of work and looking after Fran, and offers to help with Fran. But when she reveals a startling desire to her unsympathetic therapist Mr Rowley, he advises her to focus on the attention of Colin, a man she met in a lift.

Can Bea survive the demands of her career and the turmoil in her marriage without having a breakdown? Can Madeleine survive Kurt’s anger and find happiness with Colin? And can love survive marriage, middle-age, alcohol and ambition?

Not Having It All is about a scientist torn between her stalling career and the demands of her family. With themes of trust, deception and obsession, it is a playful take on modern friendships, relationships and family life.

This book was great… I laughed so hard at times I was afraid that my husband thought I was going into Menopausal-Dementia-Hysteria. The characters in this book are identifiable to so many people and the whole career vs. family argument would be a great subject to bring up at a book club. 5* Goodreads review from Janet Cousineau


Some fantastic reviews have been popping up on Amazon sites, Goodreads, blogs and other places. Most reviews are 4 or 5 star, though I did get my first ever one-star review (I got over it). Also readers have been telling me good things directly… one said that it’s my best novel so far. It’s always wonderful to hear enthusiastic responses after all the effort involved in writing the book and getting it out to readers. If you’ve read NOT HAVING IT ALL and didn’t slam it down in a fit of pique vowing never to read Ms Ensor again – or even if you did – I’d be grateful to hear your thoughts. Especially if you post them on Amazon or (or else Goodreads, social media, whatever). Brief is fine.

If I get a moment one day, I’ll post some up here to tempt you guys 🙂

Where to buy the book

Publication date: 28 May 2019
Publisher: Bombshell Books (imprint of Bloodhound Books)
Formats: Paperback and e-book
ISBN: 9781912986347

E-book available on Amazon Kindle or Kindle Unlimited.
Amazon 🇬🇧
Amazon US

Paperback available at Waterstones (stocked at London – Crouch End or get delivered to your local branch), Amazon or order from your local bookshop